TIPS SHEET ON LANGUAGE 1 Keep it simple. If you use complicated words or obscure references, people may not want to ask what you mean, so you may be misunderstood, or lose the impact of what you want to say. 2 Avoid unnecessary negatives. If you say ‘Don’t forget to send me that information’, the word ‘Don’t’ can be missed and it doesn’t actually say what you want. Better to say ‘Remember to send me that information’. 3 Keep your voice tonality in sync with your words. For example, raising your voice at the end of a sentence could imply you’re asking a question. Having a cheerful tone while talking about something sad could imply you’re not taking it seriously. 4 Keep your words and body language consistent with each other. If you say something positive while shaking your head, it’s likely people will pick up on the head shake rather than the words and misinterpret what you’re saying, or be confused. 5 Listen to other people’s words. This is particularly important with coaching, counselling, therapy and sales. Words mean things to people – and their meaning to other people may not be the same as their meaning to you. For example, ‘good quality’ could mean well made, using particular materials, long-lasting or various other things. Check what people’s words actually mean so you don’t misunderstand and can respond appropriately. 6 Respond appropriately to how other people are speaking if you want to develop good relationships with them. For example, if someone says they find deadlines stressful – avoid telling them that there’s nothing to get worked out about if they have a deadline. Instead, ask something like ‘What do you find stressful about deadlines?’, or ‘Is there anything you might be able to do to avoid that stress’? Focus on how they are expressing their concern or interest and respond in a similar way. 7 Remember precision. If you need to achieve a specific result, then it’s important to use precision language with others (and yourself)! Be explicit about when, where, how things need to be done. The more precise you are the easier it is for people to understand what’s needed and know how to go about it. 8 Also remember there are times when precision isn’t the best approach. When you want someone to use their own imagination or do things in their own way, ‘indirect’ language can be more effective. For example: ‘I wonder what you’ll do first’, ‘You’ll have your own ideas on how to approach this’, ‘There must be lots of ways of sorting this out’. You might do this in order to help someone think creatively or you might do it in order to avoid being too directive with someone who doesn’t like being told what to do. 9 Use ‘sensory language’ to enrich what you say. This is language that relates to senses such as seeing, hearing, touching etc. This is particularly important in presentations, to keep people engaged. So you could say ‘We had an excellent month in September’. Or you could say ‘September was brilliant (a visual word). Lots of customers told (an auditory word) us how excited (a feeling word) they were about the new products. We could see (visual) the sales figures going up (a tactile word) and almost scent (an olfactory word) the enthusiasm (feeling word). 10 Avoid assumptions. Whether it’s level of knowledge, attitude, need, interest, ability to pay or something else, you don’t know unless you find out. If you assume things about the other person, you may both miss out as a result. So remember language can be used to give information or instructions, question, influence, develop relationships and lots more. Use it effectively and everyone should benefit.  Carol Harris